Since leaving social media I have a private relationship with the world. We’re closer.
and, just like a child smiles differently in front of your camera than up at you from their bedtime story
before sleep,
the moon pulled me differently last night. I had to step barefoot into my boots,
clutch my coat to me and go out into the twenty degree night just to be with Her, direct.
And because I went by myself, without a camera, without a phone,
She gave me a secret that not even I can know.
She stared down at my looking up, so bright that dreaming mothers everywhere mumbled you’ll hurt your eyes in their sleep.
I gave Her my watching
and it opened a vein to the primordial yearn, the pull upward into darkness and stars, the desire to be seen by that one unknowable, fat, bright eye in the head of the body of god.
And because I’m not on social media, and this moment would never be posted, or liked, or shared, or commented on by anyone ever but me,
it went viral through my being body and bones,
and
She saw me.