None of us matter. All of us matter.
Walking my little puppy down the street, I was embroiled in my own importance. Obsessing over my health and what to do about it. Seizure medication that I hate. The desire to get off anti-depressants. Wondering whether an Ayurvedic diet is better than a vegan one. Or just no diet at all. Would I feel better if I just didn't worry about food so much?
Oh my God, so much me me me. I got tired of my own self.
I've often led a meditation called White Water, where we visualize ourselves as a smooth pebble tossed into the river, looking up at the white water from our resting place on the riverbed. All the white water being our thoughts, our plans, our regrets, etc. That one is a good one.
But on this walk, it hit me--what if it's more like this: You, me, we're all drops of water in the river, the ocean, the pond, whatever. I'm just one drop. As I work with that image, my self-importance shrinks. If I'm a drop of water, there's really no room, no time for handwringing about which foods to eat or leave out, or stopping or starting medication. There's no achievement in a drop of water. No pride or shame. No success, no failure.
As I move through my day, in the body of a drop of water, suddenly there's no judgment about what I'm doing, or how, or why.
I feel a little flicker of lightness. Of freedom. I'm a drop of water along with everyone working at Keyfood, and our guys at the shop where they fix up our cars, and the good people at the Astrea Lesbian Foundation for Justice, and also every Texas politician, and every participant in the January 6 insurrection, every victim, every saint and sinner and sap worldwide.
The water flows on, and I'm a tiny part of it, and you're a tiny part of it and that's all. We make up an inconceivably vast ocean of humanity. We are so much more connected, less separate from one another, than we imagine.
Try this on for yourself. Stop worrying about being yourself today, and just be a drop of water. See how it feels.
Many blessings to you and all yours.