Store

1. new love

can i come in?
i know it's late.
i want to talk.
i couldn't wait.

see there's this thing
keeps me awake
and suddenly, there's
so much at stake

i don't know you
you don't know me
this is so new
i wanna see

what comes about
what teases out
what flies away
what's here to stay

i hold my breath
i let it go
i must not press
that's clear, but oh

when i look in your eyes
there are now hows, no whys
there's only you and me,
and this big wheeeeeeee

so here's the deal
it's round and true
this joy i feel
is deep with you

it may not last
but who can tell
leave go the past
stay in ourselves

you come with me
i'll go with you
we'll sail the sea
so big so blue

2. there and back again

there’s a young man who says he loves my daughter
i do believe him lookin’ in his eyes.
i hope that she remembers all i taught her
to let her love grow up and be life size.

i watch them walking down the road together.
i see them facing right into the wind.
i send a blessing to help them through the weather
to see them all the way there and back again.

they will know the sweet and bitter fruit
they will know the blossom and the root
they will know agreement and dispute
and they’ll try a love that’s absolute

this is a mother’s sweetest consolation
to know her woman daughter is choosing well
their love is in a dance of celebration
and if it never will end only time will tell

see, i have known the sweet and bitter fruit
i have known the blossom and the root
i have known agreement and dispute
and i’ve got a love that’s absolute

it seems to me that they are on the right track
they’re listening close and clear to their own hearts
they’re stepping out and they’re not looking back now,
this is where their very own lives really start

they will know the sweet and bitter fruit
they will know the blossom and the root
they will know agreement and dispute
and with any luck,
they’ll know a love that’s absolute

i watch them walking down the road together.
i see them facing right into the wind.
i send the goddess to help them through the weather
to see them all the way there
to see them all the way there
to see them all the way there and back again.
amen.

3. flying solo

killing time at an all night diner
this man sitting next to me
talkin’ like he understands but her really doesn’t see
they tell me that it’s time to close now
they’re busy sweepin’ up
and i can’t find no warmth in this china cup

waiting for this bus now
looking to be free
driver, keep on driving
till i find a place to be

brave soldier flying nighthawks
the war swept his life away
now i’m flying solo through these empty days
when he got home we were getting married
i still wear his ring
now our dreams are buried and life don’t mean a thing

getting on this bus now
looking to be free
driver keep on driving
till i find the place for me

you know i didn’t really ask for this
but it’s the hand i was dealt
they say that god is always watching
but it’s hard to tell. . .

4. raise your voice

come on people lemme hear your voice,
there’s too much trouble not to make the choice
raise your voice against the slammin’ of the door
raise your voice for the birds that soar

you can bark over bones, you can giggle, you can groan,
you can talk, you can tell, you can take it on home
you can take it to the limit, you can take it to town
but no matter what you do you gotta make that sound, oh

raise your voice, don’t leave it on the ground
raise your voice, let your hair hang down
raise your voice, just make a lotta noise

some people make their livin’ drivin’ cars
some people make their living reading the stars
my mama told me it don’t matter much,
but you got to know who you are

and it don’t matter if you’re destitute,
it don’t matter if you’re in a silk suit
it don’t matter if you missed your cue
but you got to be, you got to be true

repeat chorus

some people think they got nothin’ to say, they’re just
wishin’ the world would go another way
some people need to know the fire burns
in everybody’s belly that’s ever been born

repeat chorus

5. the present

i brought you this present
back from where i went
the shape of it's pleasant
if it is somewhat bent
i hope that you like it
i hope that it fits
i want you to know that
i love you to bits

the piece of the garden
you see in my eye
i purchased with breathing
paid tax with my smile
these two shiny stars,
well i charged to my card -
the one that i wrote you so far away
au revoir away
but i'm home, today,

i brought you this present
back from where i went
the shape of it's pleasant
if it is somewhat bent
i hope that you like it
i hope that it fits
i want you to know
that i love you to bits

the sun in the morning sky
here in my mouth
i had to negotiate
i went all out
i brought you this present
that you cannot see
unless you are looking at me

i brought you this present
back from where i went
the shape of it's pleasant
if it is somewhat bent
i hope that you like it
and since i'm your wife
i want you to know
that i love you to life

6. the village is ours

there's a circle holding me
a great big circle with a capital "c"
a place that's wild and round and ready and free

i find myself feeling so complete
sittin in the circle with the big heartbeat
and him and her and you and me
we're gonna be holdin' hands and
singing in the street

we're gonna talk and plan and fight
phone and groan and get it right
tell our dreams and blow off steam at night

it doesn't matter how hard it is
it doesn't matter whose part it is
we're gonna pull together now,
we're gonna shuck and jive and
keep our hearts alive

we don't know what we can do together
but we know what we can't do alone
there's sure no tellin' what kind of weather
is headed our way, but that's ok 'cause

the village is ours, the garbage and the flowers
the streets and the stores and the sacred towers
and the people who can do what i don't know how

it's just a big ol' mess, you see,
a mess of humans just as screwed up as can be
and him and her and you and me
we're gonna be holding' hands and
dancing in the street.

we're gonna be dancing right in-
to the next century.
it's gonna be them, and us,
and you, and you, and me!

7. woman to woman

there are gifts that are fancy, and gifts that are plain
there are gifts that are given in vain
there are things that you value, and things you obtain,
there are things that just can't be explained.

and woman to woman, you showed me a view
a picture of me through a picture of you
this was a gift from a friend whose heart
was aware and awake from the start

there are times to replenish, and times to deplete
there are times when you must leave it alone
there are days i extend myself and days i withdraw
there are days when my heart is a stone

then woman to woman, we walked through the snow
our children around us, fresh smiles in the cold
this was a time with a friend whose heart
was aware and awake and alive from the start

you grew up here and i grew up there.
we've got our differences, we don't care
we both love our husbands, we both love our kids
and we both played the cards we got when we moved to place our bids

to be lovers and mothers and women and girls
to wear bluejeans and wild flaming curls
to wear ballgowns, and nightgowns, and to wear thin now and then
to wear well as our families unfurl

so woman to woman i thank you my friend
for the hope that you bring me, and the flowers you send
flowers that come from a friend whose heart
was aware and awake and alive and a gift and aglow
from the start

8. the other shore

she goes away
her spirit stays
her body's gone
her love lives on

this is a lesson
that's so hard to learn
it makes no sense, but
we all take our turn

the life that she
lived while she walked here with us
she planted her giving
she reaped all our trust

she leaves us so hungry
so thirsty for more
open the door, let's
let our tears pour

down to form the river that carries her
safe to the other shore,
where the spiritwings within her
will kiss her to the sky
so she can soar

we're all here today
we're finding a way
to honor the flame
that speaks her name in light.

9. the box

everybody's born with a box.
you get it when you're just a little baby
a little bitty baby.

and everything you are is in the box
everything you're meant to become,
no room for a maybe.

papa looks in,
mama looks into the box,
and whatever they see
is who you'll be

everybody's born with a box
with walls to the side
and a ceiling
it's quite a good feeling.

you know just exactly where you are
and even though you can't see the stars,
it's snug and appealing.

you gotta watch out
you gotta look out for yourself
and stay dry-eyed
and stay inside.

never thought for a minute
that there could be much more
to my box than what's in it
but what's it for?

anyway,
everybody's born with a box.
and if what's in your box doesn't fit
you're a toxic disaster.

so you try to fit the best that you can.
you try to fit your feet to the shoes,
run faster and faster.

teacher looks in,
boss looks in,
kids look in,
people look into the box...

and no matter what else--
that's who you are.

10. buy it now

buy it now
hurry up,
bring the kids
get in your car, and come on down

the sale ends tomorrow
only til tomorrow-buy 2
go home with 3
and a free bag of candy

buy it now
don't miss the chance at these low low prices,
only while they last
and they're going really fast
so don't miss out!

watch out,
you're missing out!
something really valuable
is passing you by

come to buy, come to buy
come to buy, come to buy
cash, credit cards, and personal checks
come to buy, come to buy,

ka-ching happiness kaching-ching happiness kaching happiness kaching,
kaching, kaching
is right here in this register

come to buy, come to buy
come to buy, don't say bye-bye
come to buy, come to buy
ka-ching!

11. people in cars

where are we going, where are we going
driving in buicks, driving in porsches,
driving in vans,
fast as we can

mothers with babies, crying in backseats
young men who thump along to the backbeat
coming to them
from klfm

9 in the morning, 6 in the evening,
8:30 traffic, big demographics
going on here

it doesn't matter what time it is,
there's tryin' to get home,
there's working the business
going on here

faces in the window, just blank faces
in the window as we drive
faces looking back at me
reminding me that i am still alive

she's never really done this before,
it might be a blast,
it might be a bore she speeds her sedan
as far as it can

man on a date,
he's tempting his fate the woman is late,
can she be his mate she shows up at last,
they step on the gas

10 in the evening, 3 in the morning running around, they're not slowing down, they're driving all night

it doesn't matter what time it is,
what they do on their time's
nobody's business
feeling allright

(repeat chorus)

folks in a hurry,
people in trouble mail delivery,
kids blowing bubbles out the front seat,
hot summer heat

where are we going,
where are we going driving in buicks,
driving in hondas, driving in vans,
as fast as we can

driving to weddings, driving to movies
get to the courthouse,
get to the sufi
dances tonight

driving all weekend,
driving a long time
taking some time out,
time to take mine outside for a time

faces in the window,
just blank faces
in the window
as we drive

faces in the window
looking toward where they are hoping to arrive

talking on cell phones...
waiting for the light to turn...

12. don't look away

there is love and there is grief
the standing tree and the burning leaf
old men shinin' young men's boots
children sold as prostitutes
don't look away
the world is calling
don't look away
it calls for you

junkies forage in the dark
stalk their prey in central park
silent family dinnertimes
drowning in their lesser crimes
don't look away
the world is calling
don't look away
it calls for you

air we cannot breathe
people we can't feed
little kids who kill
and feel is as a thrill

rage that wages war on me
a cancer dancing wild and free
this broken heart is breaking down
i need to tie one on in town
please look away
my life is falling
please look away
i'm falling fast

jesus has a middle name
buddha, krishna all the same
that middle name is yours and mine
in ireland and in palestine
in china and afghanistan
and in santiago atitlan
in rwanda and in kosovo
and in our own backyards, you know

no, don't look away
the world is calling
don't look away
it calls for you

13. the road home

tthere is a road that i know of
we're not meant to travel alone
take my hand and we'll make it
we'll make it all the way home

why are we locked in?
we work ourselves so thin.
why do we hide what lives deep inside
and never show where we've been?
in despair, i left my prayers
but now there's a voice in the wind

(it's saying to me)
repeat chorus

do you have a friendship
that's bleeding by the road?
do you know how to pull over now?
let your heart know what it knows
chances are you're not so far
from figuring out how it goes

(say to your friend)
repeat chorus

does a stranger need us?
is she bitter and cold?
her soul's wound up tight
she's tired of the fight
maybe she needs to be told

there is a road that i know of
we're not meant to travel alone
take my hand and we'll make it
we'll make it all the way home
take my hand and we'll make it
and maybe, we're already home

1. full moon big circle

woke up in the night wonderin’ why it is that i can’t sleep
woke up in the night wonderin’ why it is that i can’t sleep
the lady in the mirror says "it’s the company you don’t keep"
you better go out in the
full moon, big circle, bright light
full moon, big circle, bright light
come into the company of everything you know at night

a lot of what i know is in the darkness and cannot be seen
a lot of what i know is in the darkness and cannot be seen
but when i sit inside it, i can see the skinny outline of a dream
new moon, tiny sliver, sweet smile
new moon, tiny sliver, sweet smile
for the dream to come a’knockin’, it’s gonna take a little while.

when you hear the dream a knockin’ well you gotta open up the door
when you hear the dream a knockin’ well you gotta open up the door
say "how do you do," and let your dream come a’walkin’ inside of you
full moon, big circle, bright light
full moon, big circle, bright light
with what you got inside, you gonna take a little ride tonight

ride a camel in the desert, ride a dolphin in the deep blue sea
take a boat to the bayou, take a train on into tennessee
you got wings on your feet, your dream is in the driver’s seat
full moon, big circle, bright light
full moon, big circle, bright light
we dancin’ in the trees, we’re gonna be swayin’ in the breeze tonight.
we’re swayin’ in the breeze, we’re gonna play how we please tonight.
we’re playin’ how we please, we’re bringin’ all our dreams to life.

2. deep green sea

i looked over and saw you there,
your towel hooked on, your shaving cream
i wondered how many women could swear
they had in their bathroom the man of their dreams
now i'm probably not the first to feel this way
but here are some things i have wanted to say

dance this dark embrace
look into my face
swim this deep green sea
will you marry me?

years ago, when i didn't know
the difference between the sight and the seen,
i tore around the world, i was such a busy girl
shakin' things out, trying to see what they mean
now i'm surely not the first to have lost then found my way,
so here are some things i've decided to say

dance this dark embrace,
look into my face
swim this deep green sea
will you marry me?

time slides by, but it only
proves how lonely
life would be without
what you and i are all about
so if it's all the same
i'd like to share your name

dance this dark embrace (this rich embrace)
honey, look into my face
swim this deep green sea
will you marry me?

3. capable women

capable women at kinko’s, typing up their resumes
hyping up their job descriptions, fighting for a place in the game
playing just like the big boys, playing just exactly the same

driving my car down 10th street, looking for a parking space
checking myself in the rearview, didn’t recognize my face
i don’t remember when i faded, i must’ve left without a trace

did i let go of my tight strung bow?
or give away the barefoot way?
is there a choice for this forest voice?
the bills press in, the days push out,
you take less in, the lights go out. . .

capable woman at kinko’s, throw away your resume
walk away from all the phone lines, walk into the light of day
listen to the drum of your heartbeat, listen to the moonlit gray

listen to your belly, listen to it please
hear the space behind the breastbone, hear what it sees
listen to your needs, listen to your fears,
listen to what i am telling you here

i dig my feet in the dirt now, i stretch my soul to the sky
my mind is my reminder, i can ask, but not know why
my heart is a mess, it beats in my chest,
i feel new. . .

and shy. . .

4. ancestor

this is the way it was between my father and me:
in 1978 he passed away.
somebody told me now he is my ancestor
i didn’t think him worthy of the name.

he was a warm quixotic man with a brilliant mind
he was a cruel, unconscious father too.
my mother loved him blindly and without constraint.
the children were left with nothing else to do

but run as we could through that dark wood
fighting the monsters that came our way
day by day, night by night.

i have for years and years and years been working this.
fragments, dreams, scraps of paper, clues.
wanting to find the culprit for this darkness here
find the final reason for these blues

and what i found was darkness in my father too
terror of it in his heart and in his soul
he ran away in ways that i would not have done
yes he ran away but i am running too

running away from my own life
from all the glory and power there
hiding where no one knows

all the unspent rage, all the bottled tears
i would turn the page back on 40 long gone years
get the man to understand the danger and the harm
yell at him for hurting me, and hold him in my arms

this is the way it is between my father and me.
i will not change him, he will not change me.
all there is now is seeing him for who he is.
all there is now is letting him see me

oh can you see me from where you are?
are you my ancestor from that far?
say you are.
and be with me.

5. browning grass

For my mother.

they praise you for your schedule
how do you do it all?
you never miss a party
take every call.

your hand begins to shake now
when reaching for a glass,
your body starts to feel
like browning grass

i feel like i can tell you now
my needs are greater still--
i’m asking more of you
than your itinerary ever will. . .

sing with the river
stand there in the wind
bring down the night sky
dance it in, dance it in
oh grandmother, be our sage
be our elder, be your age

let go of all the details
leave white pages in your book
step outside the door
take a good long look

the world you’re letting go of
is mostly unaware
it doesn’t sing the glory of
your graying hair

i’m ready now to tell you
my needs are greater still
i’m asking more of you
than your itinerary ever will

sing with the starlight
stand there in the waves
bring down the hot desert wind
dance it in, dance it in
oh grandmother, be our sage
be our elder, be your age

6. In praise of taking

the giving of friendship
is half of the game
the giving is the striking of the match
the taking is the flame

the taking takes time to take place
it happens out of rhyme, at its own pace
and when i look at you i feel
a love that’s right and wrong and real

givers are given all the credit in this world
and takers are mistaken for the thieves
but gifts can sometimes just be burglaries in drag
and taking can be daring to believe

that i gave you my love and my faith
and you gave it purpose and a place
and when you took it all away from me,
you gave it back, twofold and three

do it to me again and again,
I give you my truth, you
send it back home to me
let me take you away
awaken my body, awaken my soul

the giving of friendship
is half of the game
the giving is the striking of the match
the taking is the flame
the flame is you and me

7. coffee at kathryn’s

Kathryn's used to be a place in Cody Wyoming that you could only get to be descending a long steep staircase. They told her because of that staircase, she'd never make it, but her food was so good--AND she had the brilliant idea of introducing Cody to the espresso machine--that her place was always packed with exactly the types I mention in the song.

there are some things that a guy should try never to be without
a job in the daytime, a lover at night, and drinking your coffee stout
if you don’t care how you fixed your hair, or if you travel the world in style,
come down the stairs in your singles or pairs, and sit with us for a while.
coffee at kathryn’s, it keeps the dogs at bay,
coffee at kathryn’s, it lifts the world away.

playing it safe or just play it cool, playin’ it fast and loose,
you can play hooky, you can play the fool, you can play it however you choose.
you can play bridge, you can play hard ball, you can play hard to get
but one-on-one you can have the most fun with somebody you just met
for coffee at kathryn’s, with a piece of cherry pie,
coffee at kathryn’s, it keeps your spirits high,
don’t be shy:

outawork cowboys and ne’er-do-wells, actresses hiding, a reporter who tells,
children in trouble and couples in love, faces wth stubble, and ladies with gloves,

we all gather here at the coffeeehouse, not all at the same time.
we all love this lady for the way she does make us feel in our prime
for coffee at kathryn’s, we’ll go there till we’re old
coffee at kathryn’s, we’ll be there till we fold
putting clairol in our white heads of hair, poppin wheelies in our wheelchairs,
yo kathryn, you’re gonna hafta put a ramp down those stairs.

8. marriage wishes

i wish that you could see me in a restaurant
and wonder who that pretty woman was
i wish you’d buy me flowers just for nothing
it shouldn’t really matter, but it does

to hear our conversation for the first time
and think how great it is we think alike
discover with surprise all the depth that’s in your eyes
and see you as some cosmic lucky strike

if we could meet each other now we’d surely be transfixed
and all our love would blossom into feelings that weren’t mixed
you wouldn’t know i drove too slow i’d love your stroganoff
and i’d meet with no resistance if i turned the tv off.

i wish that i could want to know you better
wonder what your lips would do with mine
feel my heart in panic as i mailed you my first letter
and smolder, smiling, while you poured the wine

if you could see me now without the baggage of the past
and i could see you clearly, how our passion would outlast
the years of growing distance made of things you did to me
that made me treat you badly, made us watch the damn tv

so turn the tv off and let’s be quiet
lie here in the dark and just hold hands
whatever happens darlin’ we should try it,
i’m sure the gods of marriage understand

and maybe they will intercept our signal
and send a warm spontaneous embrace. . .

9. one candle

one candle gives light
light enough to see
the shape of this place
the smile on your face

then that one candle gives
gives its light to two
so the two become three
brighter then they all be

light gives light
and love gives love
and life gives life

then those three candles share
share their light everywhere
four, five, six more can tell where they’re going
seven, eight more have wonder and glowing

light gives light
and love gives love
and life gives life

take with you now this light of yours
take it on into the night
carry it way deep inside of you
and just shine bright

one candle gives light.
let me give you mine.
now you give yours away
watch and see how we shine

hey now, isn’t this fine!

10. empty space

this is a time in my life
when i know that i can't say good bye,
but i can't stick around anymore.
there is a path that goes forward to where
i have wanted to go,
i have wanted to go, and explore.

i had become a cartoon of the one
that i thought i should be, when i
thought i should be someone else
my real self went in hiding to keep
all the pieces in place,
and i ran a good race, but i fell

i fell into this empty space
i fell into this state of grace
i felt all uneven and strange.
i felt unafraid of the change.
i saw all the things i could do
things that are simple and true
i saw where my big spirit grew
i saw in in me and in you...

...are my friend, you have always been there
you have always been where i could
reach you when life was unkind
you are alive, you are
ready to strive for whatever would help you
to open up to your own mind.

now i am going and you are remaining
but one thing remains
and you know that it can't be undone
and that is the way that we enter the day
and believe all the magic of
everything under the sun

(so) fall into this empty space
fall into this state of grace
feel all uneven and strange
go on and feel unafraid of the change
see all the things you can do
things that are simple and true
things that are old and are new
see it in me
see it in you

11. mommy

who did jesus' diapers?
who laid out his clothes?
who made einstein take a nap,
and rocked him till he dozed?
who sewed shakespeare's costume
and took him to his first school play?
had to be mommy, had to be a mommy anyway.

someone had to make the bed, when
michelangelo left to catch the bus.
someone had to wash his socks
and teach him not to cuss.
someone had to pottytrain the great
painter, leonardo, it was hard, oh,
it was a mommy, had to be a mommy anyway.

joan of arc and gandhi
and the queen of england, and marie curie
oh yeah, and mohammad ali. . .

they all had a mommy
to call their very own
to make them feel guilty
when they don't telephone
someone to come over
and make them clean their place real fast
hurry up, hurry up, it’s your mommy, (comin’ up the elevator)
it's your mommy (oh my god! the dishes)
it's your mommy (quick--throw this under the couch she’ll never see it)

hi mom!

12. nitty gritty

your scent is on my body like hundred buck perfume
the memory of the richest love we shared inside this room
now i don't hardly know you, and you don't really know me
but let's stick around, let's share this town, and we will surely come to see

the days my tongue is sharp, the days your tune goes flat
the nights we have our noisy fights, wonderin' where we're at
love is only as real as the dirty dishes will allow
will you do these dishes with me now?

as i walked by you took me so suddenly in your arms
the heat we felt make an anvil melt, set off all our smoke alarms
but will we wake tomorrow, debris and ashes all around
us ringin' round the rosey sweetie, ashes, ashes, we all fall down

to the days your tongue is sharp, the days my tune goes flat
the nights we have our noisy fights,
screamin' at each other "where the hell are you at?"
love is only as real as the dirty laundry will allow
will you do this laundry with me now?

sometimes i won't sleep
sometimes i won't care
there'll be promises i won't keep
and times i won't be there for you and
you might wonder why
you might catch yourself wantin' to die
you might come to realize
that this is not what you had in mind
but for now. . .
your scent is on my body like thousand buck perfume
the memory of the richest love we shared inside this room
now i don't hardly know you, and you don't really know me
but let's stick around, let's share this town, and we will surely come to see

the days our tongues are sharp, the days our tunes go flat
the nights we have our noisy fights, takin' our turns at bat
love is only as real as the nitty gritty will allow
will you get down in there with me now?
love is only as real as the nitty gritty will allow
get your butt down in here with me now

1. show up at my door

show up at my door
like you did before
you were gonna be so cool
then you kissed me like a fool

kiss me once again
kiss me twice and then
go back to the start
go back to the part where you

put your arms around me
you took me where you found me
you took me to the stratosphere
and flew me through the stars

leave your toothbrush here, darlin'
it makes me feel you're near
your sneakers in my closet
i love it so, because it

looks like you might be back
things'll be right on track
the heart beats nonstop
so we'll pick up right where we left off

show up at my door
just like you did before
honey i'll be right here
the whole thing, still in gear

2. cardiac arrest

Everybody (especially my mother) wants to hear the real skinny on this one. Sorry, folks. This one is my little secret to the end.

minding my own business in town today
minding my p's and my q's
stood in line at the post office feeling down today
'til i looked up and caught a view

a view of a man, had to grow outa some rock
he looked at me, i went into shock
cardiac arrest, baby be my guest
cardiac arrest, my man, let's make a mess

followed him out and struck up a conversation
searching and scrambling for something to say
took every bit of my fast-failing concentration
not to look at him that way

he was man from his head to his toes
and i'm a woman, that's how it goes
cardiac arrest, let's put it to the test
cardiac arrest, let's redefine the wild west

one thing led to me, i led him away now
led him down my little old garden path
they'll have to pipe our food in on a tray
put a fax machine near the bath

emergency room technician, stand by
what a way to go, what a way to die
cardiac arrest, baby be my guest
cardiac arrest, darlin' you are the best
cardiac arrest, honey, come on, let's get some rest.

3. things that remain unsaid

things that remain unsaid
live on inside my head
things that i've longed so to explore
hide in my heart instead
secrets too small to count
secrets in small amounts
accumulate quietly, tangled together,
and thrive in my soul, unwound

we met for lunch last week
i opened my mouth to speak
but someone came by to "yo, how're ya doin'!"
and the moment had sprung a leak
and it may never come again
not like it did just then
i may have lost, and there's no counting the cost
of the things that i've left unsaid

but even these deep communiques
that never see light of day
somehow they pulsate in
translated frequencies anyway
day by day, so that

somewhere in what you know
there is what i would not show
and all my unspoken musings go
into the silent flow of this
dive with no safety net
into something that's not real yet
feel in this hour the invisible power
of the things that all take part
in the things that connect our hearts
through the things that remain unsaid

4. song in my soul

This started out as a song I wrote for my Episcopal sunday school class to sing. Eventually, I put it on the album, using the word "He"--as in "when He called my name." As my spirituality has taken me to new places within myself, I now sing it using the word "you." And in you, I think of the unifying force, the enormous, big You that is out there, looking after me.

i've got a song down in my soul
gonna sing it till my body's whole
i've got a story black as coal
gonna tell it till it turns to gold

flowers in the sunshine, the road in the rain
remembering the first time when you called my name.

you called my name said hey hey hey
open up your heart to another way
open up your door to a brand new day
come away with me now come away

flowers in the sunshine, the road in the rain
remembering the first time that you called my name.

you took me by the hand, you shook me to my spirit
you wanted me to stand, you wanted me to hear it

i've got a color in my life
sure as the dawn and sharp as a knife,
red, blue, yellow, green, and bright
colors in the daytime, colors at night.

flowers in the sunshine, the road in the rain
remembering in the first time that you called my name.

i've got a song down in my soul
gonna sing it till my body's whole
i've got a story black as coal
gonna tell it till it turns to gold

5. the voice in your eyes

for once in my life,
at a time when i might've been elsewhere,
i'm listening to a voice that logic defies.
sometimes this voice takes the form
of the whistling wind in the air,
but in my case it took the form of a look in your eyes.
and you looked in mine too

so sweet was the tension,
tension that triggered my senses
the voice in your eyes,
it deepened the smile on my face.

you've got eyes that let me in,
eyes that drew my grins
eyes to strip and dive into
the pool of shiver and cool. . .

. . .breezes of sage, jesus,
i can't look the other way.
i can't help this feeling that i'm finally getting my way.
'cause you walked into my life,
and you opened the windows
and fresh air is blowing through rooms
that have never seen daylight

with eyes that let me in,
eyes that drew my grins
eyes to strip and dive into
the pool of shiver and cool

for once in my life,
at a time when i might've been elsewhere
i'm listening to a voice that logic defies.
the voice in your eyes.
the voice in your eyes

6. classified ads

i put myself in the classified ads
brown hair, five foot four, one thirteen
i love to go dancing, i don't go for fads
i wear my pearls with my jeans

and i'm looking for love in the classified ads
hoping to find someone who
won't be afraid of my outfits, or stiff with my kids,
someone who'll love me as is

old flannel nightgown and fuzzy warm socks
and a hunger that feeds as it drinks
a tough-hided woman who shields so she shocks
she cuts, she laughs, she thinks

i'm looking for someone who's streetwise and warm
someone who's in touch with his dog
a man who pays taxes but doesn't conform
whose mind has come out of the fog.

yes i'm looking for love from these guys who call back
they're looking for something from me
we talk about things we've got--talk about things we lack
things we would love, for once, to see

and maybe i'll find you--yeah, maybe i will
maybe you'll answer my call
but you'll probably come home from my past or my back yard,
or you're someone i've known for years after all.

i put myself in the classified ads
brown hair, five foot four, one thirteen
i love to go dancing, oh please take me dancing
i wear my pearls with my jeans

7. me & you

Jane invited me to guest teach her high school creative writing class. I had no idea what I would do, but knew I had the beginnings of a song I could maybe have them complete. I told them that the parameters were: a) it's a romantic song, but b) I want it full of images that go together, but are NOT romantic in nature. We had a ball doing it. And, believe it or not, the line "you are the jetstream, i am the lear," did not come from me. It came from one of the students in that class.

you are the masses, i am kmart.
i'm in your blood, you're in my heart.
you're the antenna, i am the air waves.
i do the hair, you do the shave.

we fit together well, the seashore and the shell
car dealerships, hardsell; the sin and those who fell
it all goes in the stew, no matter what you do
i'ts gonna get to you, it's gonna see you through

i am the pretzels, you are the beer
you are the clutch, i am the gear
i am the twelve months, you are the year
you are the jet stream, i am the lear

we fit together fine, like candlelight and wine
the needles and the pines, the silver and the shine
it all goes it the stew, no matter what i do
it's there inside of me and just won't let me be

take me inside let's just turn off the lights
let's feel our love from the depths, from the heart to the heights

i am the lightning, you are the rain
you are the fighting, i am the pain
i am the loss, you are the gain
you are the flour, but baby, i am the grain

we fit together great, like gravity and weight
accident and fate, and hurry up and wait
it all goes in the stew, no matter what we do
it's gonna get to you, baby. and it's gonna see us through

me and you,
see and do, many and few, me and you
old and new, false and true, me and you,
looking through to the view of me and you

8. the way it is

i've got a son who's sixteen, where in the hell have i been?
i've been trying to come clean, sort the fat from the lean
this is a simple song to say that we all go wrong, and, in my case
in my search for the child within, my child went without my time

he tells me he gets confused, gets sidetracked and enthused.
i tell him he's not alone, but i gotta tell him over the phone.
the telling of this tale is that we all get so easily derailed
so laugh out loud, come on, join the crowd,
me and you we're walking the same damn trail

welcome to the way it is, my friend.
welcome to the real business end
of life and strife and stress and strain
and getting it wrong again and again

keep it up till you get it right, keep it up till you win this fight.
there's just one thing you must keep in mind, you'll never get to no finish line
you'll only get today, so don't waste it, jump in the fray
and work off your buns, do it till you're done, do it till you're having fun

keep it up till you get it right, keep it up till you win this fight.
there's just one thing you must keep in mind, you ain't gonna get to no finish line.
you're gonna be ok, if you learn to take it day by day
so, bust your ass, go on and have a blast, but do it so it lasts.

9. the color of open

her face is the color of open
its shape, like a warm afternoon
her smile is as dear as a daisy
as distant and deep as the moon

and her gifts are of paper and tape
cotton clouds, sparkled skies
and her love is as clear as a mirror
as it travels to me through her eyes

i scold and i teach and i wonder
i fail and succeed and despair
there are times when she roars out like thunder
there are times she lets me do her hair

and the right and the wrong that i do
changes me and changes her
and the daughter in me comes to surface
and the mother in her comes to stir

birthday clothes, ballet class, moments fly, decades pass

and she's still just my six year old daughter
with the pain and the grace that it brings
and i'm still just this little girl's mother
trying hard to accept all these thing
and the wrong and the right that i do
changes her and changes me and
i wonder which times she'll remember
when she sings her own daughter to sleep

telephone, courting flowers, wedding bells, baby showers

will my granddaughter's face be as open?
take its shape from a warm afternoon?
she is surely as dear as her mother,
as distant and deep as the moon

10. tuesday night communion

My friend and I used to meet at the Irma Bar in Cody, Wyoming, after work on Tuesdays. Our time together helped keep me sane during some very difficult times of my life. And it became for me a time of communion, in the best sense of the word.

tuesday night communion
jane and me after five
once a week, we come to seek
a place where we both thrive

interchange and conflict
the weather of our ways
the virtues and the vices
that influence our days

in church we pray and ponder, and try to reach within
but tuesday nights, we wonder over chips and dip and gin

we analyze our weak points
acknowledge our self-worth
we struggle with this troubled gift
of living on this earth

now tell me what's the difference
between the bread and wine
and the sweet and simple union
between her life and mine.

i came in, she reached out, days bleed into years
time has made us comrades now, we sweep aside our fears

i doublepark the buick
run in to buy a rose
for this friend of mine who takes the time
to ask me how it goes.

her eyes are rich with presence
her presence, sure and warm,
and these weekly conversations are
a shelter from the storm

the church is on the west strip. it isn't very far
but tuesday nights, the services are at the irma bar